Posts Tagged ‘White Tie’

How to be a Downton gentleman

Sunday, November 11th, 2012

I was asked to pen the below for PR company ‘Premier PR’ to help launch the DVD of Series 3 of ‘Downton Abbey’.

1. Respect the staff! They can’t survive without you, and you can’t survive without them! True men of Downton treat their butler, valet & footmen with the greatest of respect and hold them in the highest regard.

2. A gentleman never wears a hat indoors. Boaters, toppers and bowlers should all be removed upon entering a building. Your wives and mothers, on the other hand, are allowed to wear hats indoors as they are part of their outfit and not an accessory.

3. When the ladies repair into the drawing room after dinner, gentlemen are to rise from their seats until they have left the room. Similarly, at the start of a luncheon or dinner, do not sit until the ladies have been seated. It is good manners to help the lady to your right into their seat if there is not a footman to hand.

4. When visiting your friends’ estates, it is good form to leave a tip for any of their staff that may have looked after you during your stay. Ask your host how much you should leave.

5. Many dinners at Downton are White Tie affairs, although in recent times Black Tie has been creeping in. When White Tie is the order of the evening, remember not to flick the tails of your tailcoat theatrically as you sit down. That is the reserve of concert pianists.

6. Whether White or Black Tie, the hallmark of a true gentleman is that he knows how to tie a bow tie (even if Thomas or Moseley the valets help out from time to time). Ready-made bow ties just will not do.

7. After dinner, gentlemen will linger in the dining room to talk about more serious topics of conversation that may tax the ladies’ brains too much. This should only last twenty minutes or so, but during this time Port may be offered. It is passed to the left and the guest of honour pours first.

8. When wearing a waistcoat, a gentleman always has the bottom button unfastened. This custom is thought to come from the reign of Edward VII. His waistline was ever expanding and so he could not fasten his button, and so it was considered impolite for his courtiers (and then subjects) to fasten theirs.

9. When on a country shoot be sure to tip the loader afterwards (£20). Loaders literally load your guns and carry them – like caddies in golf.

10. Stubble is not on the cards for a gentleman. Men are clean-shaven or have facial hair – there is no in-between. Moustaches or beards must be well kept and neat.

11. Many women will judge a man by their shoes. Maybe Lady Edith is still single due to her high footwear standards? If a man cannot look after his shoes, then will he be able to look after a woman? Take pride in your footwear – clean shoes regularly, not just when they need to be cleaned.

12. A gentleman never discusses money, which may be why Lord Grantham is a bit prickly as to discussing running the estate with Matthew. Talking about how much one earns, or how much something cost is the height of vulgarity and is very gauche. Money talk can embarrass others and anything that could possibly cause awkwardness is to be avoided.

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A Crash Course in White Tie

Saturday, November 19th, 2011

Earlier this week the British Prime Minister David Cameron attended the Lord Mayor’s Banquet at the Mansion House in the City of London. This annual event carries with it an evening dress code that is fast falling out of vogue: White Tie. A few weeks ago I wrote about Black Tie, which is basically a bastardised version of White Tie.

But this little worn, and to some people – little known, dress code has its rules, just like any other. It used to be the standard dress for evening dinners in the age of Downton Abbey, as indeed we see on the hit costume drama. Black Tie then came in (from America) and the aristocracy decided that it was a lot less hassle to wear every evening than White Tie.

Lord Grantham from Downton Abbey

Working from top to bottom, the gentleman should wear…

Bow tie The clue is in the title of the dress code – a white bow tie (hand-tied) is correct. Make sure your hands are spotless before tying as the brilliant white of the tie will show every mark unforgivingly

Shirt A white, winged collar (sometimes detachable from the dress shirt) should adorn the top of the dress shirt, which should be fastened with studs. I have white mother of pearl studs for such an occasion. Cuffs should be double-cuffed (i.e. cufflinks)

Jacket The black (sometimes midnight blue) tailcoat is double-breasted although never fastened and should just show a hint of the white waistcoat beneath

Decorations These may be worn if the invitation decrees – always on the wearer’s left lapel

Waistcoat This is white, made from a pique cotton and is fastened

Trousers Black and tapered with two pieces of braid running down the side of each leg (unlike Black Tie trousers, which should have just one). They should be held in place with the aid of braces, not a belt

Socks Long black silk evening socks are preferable, although merino wool is an acceptable modern alternative

Shoes Patent black and Oxford-style

Unlike with Black Tie where one sometimes sees people trying to inject colour in the outfit, one should not even contemplate such a solecism with this dress code.

Ladies have some rules to follow, although the design, patterns and materials of their gowns will change with the fashions of the age. Dresses should be sweeping and to the floor, but hair should not be. This should be restrained to avoid knocking out dancing partners. Long white gloves should be worn at all times, except when dining. Tiaras may be worn if the occasion warrants them.

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A Crash Course in Black Tie

Friday, October 21st, 2011

My good friend James suggested to me earlier today that I should do a blog post about Black Tie, as he is to attend an event where the dress code is Black Tie and he is unsure what constitutes this particular wardrobe stipulation. So, here I am, blogging away.

Firstly, if there is a dress code in place for the event, stick to it! No one is above dress codes. You simply cannot turn up wearing whatever takes your fancy: this is the height of bad sartorial manners. If you are unhappy with the dress code, then decline the invitation.

The spring of each year sees the interminable cycle of awards ceremonies begin and such events always depress me as the men start messing around with what is a perfectly smart dress-code to begin with – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Perhaps the male actors, singers and television personalities feel upstaged by the women, who for each ceremony get to wear a colourful dress, which the men may think deflects attention away from what they are wearing. So they start to wheel out skinny ties (which will be top of my list to put into Room 101), or just plain black neck ties (which, to me, shows ignorance that ‘Black Tie’ does not mean a neck tie).

William at a Black Tie event

William at a Black Tie event

So what to wear for the gentlemen?

Working from top to bottom…

Hair This should be washed and brushed. Similarly, you should be clean-shaven (unless you always have a beard or moustache). There is no point going to a smart event if your head and face looks like it hasn’t seen a comb in years

Shirt A white shirt with a turned down collar is called for with Black Tie. Winged collars, often mistakenly worn, are the reserve of the White Tie dress code. The shirt should be a dress shirt, which are generally slightly thicker in material, with a pique or frilled front.  Button down collars are a no-no. Dress shirts can be fastened with buttons or with studs. Cuffs can be standard or double-cuff, depending on preference

Bow tie As I mentioned above, Black Tie does not mean a black neck tie. They are for funerals. Bow ties should be hand-tied in my opinion (Her Majesty is said to be able to spot a ‘fake’, pre-tied bow tie a mile off – as can I. We’re quite similar.) If you cannot tie one, then I suggest you learn, or try to look good in a pre-tied one

Jacket Black. Lapels can be notched or shawl. Jackets can be single or double breasted. Double breasted jackets (of any variety) often look best on very slim men. Dinner jackets are never fastened when single-breasted

Pocket square If you wish to wear a ‘top pocket handkerchief’ then you may do so. In white

Cummerbund Nowadays, these are optional and if worn should be worn with the folds pointing upwards. It goes around the waist

Braces Don’t wear a belt, even if hidden by a cummerbund. Instead opt for braces, preferably black, if you need to keep your trousers up

Trousers These should match the material of the jacket and are usually tapered slightly

Socks Black silk evening socks are technically correct but these are not widely sold and most people are opting to wear conventional wool or cotton socks

Shoes Well-polished, smart black shoes are perfectly acceptable. If you have black patent leather shoes by all means wear them to Black Tie events. I do!

Finally for the gentlemen, a question I get asked a fair bit: ‘can I inject some colour into Black Tie?’ My advice is to try to steer clear of playing with the monochrome colour palate of Black Tie, however boring you think it may be. Where people have added a red cummerbund, or bright blue socks it has generally looked a bit tacky. One has to be a highly skilled fashionista to break the dress code with style.

As for what the women should wear: evening dresses are correct. They shouldn’t really be floor-length, this used to be reserved for just White Tie events, but this rule has been relaxed. Inject as much colour as you so wish, ladies: it doesn’t matter what colour you wear as your male partner will only be in black and white which means you will stand out, without clashing with him, and (hopefully) look radiant.

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