Posts Tagged ‘royal wedding’

The Royal Wedding: What Went Wrong and Why

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

It has to be said, the 29th April 2011 will be a day I do not forget – and for all the right reasons. Apart from the beauty of the pomp and circumstance of the day’s proceedings, it was the atmosphere of the nation, especially those who had travelled to London, which really got me. We rarely have national events that bring us together with such elegance and precision. One homemade banner I saw on The Mall on the Thursday evening read ‘Don’t expect the Olympics to be this good’.

I was lucky enough to be in London that week to do media engagements, as being an etiquette and protocol consultant this event was like a big birthday present crossed with exam time. Weird people like me who make it their business to examine human behavior, etiquette, customs and protocol will have noticed a few things that went wrong. Some things went wrong because there was not enough planning, some because of nerves of people concerned on the day, and others down to a few select guests’ lack of research or political motivations.

This blog post has been a long-time coming, but I have finally found time to give a brief overview of a few things that went wrong, intentionally or unintentionally. I will point out now, however, that these tiny (in most cases) mistakes may not have been visible to the ‘untrained’ eye and did not spoil the marvelous event for me in any way shape or form.

SamCam and the Wayward Wardrobe

The Prime Minister of Great Britain’s wife, Samantha Cameron, was wearing a fetching emerald green dress, which would have looked so much better with a hat. Indeed, etiquette dictates that with morning dress (one of the dress codes for the Wedding) hats are worn by the women. As the wife of the Prime Minister, and so theoretically representing the women of the country, she should have been sporting one. The argument from Downing Street was that she wore jewels (emeralds) in her hair instead. But this is still not correct form. Unfortunately, Mrs. Cameron made another error by choosing not to wear tights. With formal dress codes, women are expected to wear tights or stockings.

Photo below.

David Beckham and the Moveable Medal

As a friend of Prince William, and a premier footballer, David Beckham and his wife, Victoria, were obviously invited to the wedding. Beckham turned up in morning suit, which surprised me as (truth be told) I thought he’d opt for a lounge suit. It may have been designed by Polo Ralph Lauren, but the collar was winged, which is incorrect for morning dress (but correct for White Tie – worn for very formal evening affairs: state dinners, etc). He also chose to wear his OBE, an honour given to him by The Queen a few years ago. He entered the Abbey with it hanging from his right lapel, but medals should be worn on the left lapel. HOWEVER… correct lapel or not, he shouldn’t have been wearing it at all as morning dress does not stipulate medals. Only with White Tie should medals be worn. Beckham did switch his medal to the left lapel once inside the church, but he should have removed it all together.

Photo below.

Buttoned Up

Mr. Middleton’s morning jacket was fastened, which is incorrect for morning dress. Buttons should remain unfastened.

Photo below.

To Bow or Not To Bow?

When Kate Middleton walked up the aisle of Westminster Abbey, protocol states that one curtsies or bows when you reach The Queen. Dear Kate forgot to do this when arriving. Previous Royal brides have all done this, as well as curtseying when leaving (which Kate did do). I put this down to nerves. She did have a couple of billion people watching her every move, so I think we can let her off.

The Queen’s Car Door

When Her Majesty and the Duke of Edinburgh arrived at the Abbey, a soldier opened the car door on the road side, at the same time another soldier opened the pavement side door. The former footman was wrong as the door should never be opened onto the road (even though in this case the road was closed and car-free). Had Her Majesty, who always sits behind the driver when with her husband, got out of the car on the side of the road she’d have had to walk around the car to get to the entrance of the Abbey. All very clumsy. Although I doubt anything was done in this case to the soldier, ten years ago this would have been a very serious offence indeed.

Photo below.

Watch Your Step, Ma’am

When The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh were getting into the carriage to take them from the Abbey back to Buckingham Palace, there should have been a footman on the roadside of said carriage to balance the carriage. There was not and as such the carriage almost tipped over as the Duke was trying to embark. No such mistake was made when the Queen and Duke arrived at the Palace; a footman promptly used a stabilizing weight to stop the carriage from tipping.

Photo below.

 

Etiquette Postbag

Sunday, May 1st, 2011

Here are some of the questions I have received from various different people this week about issues of etiquette and protocol. I thought I’d post the answers online (I have removed people’s names).

1.  During a dinner/lunch – how do I rest my knife and fork if I pause for a while to speak?  I think that it is fork over knife at a 25past 5 angle?  Prongs down?

You are right that the bridge of the fork should go over the blade of the knife, prongs/tines down, and (if you imagine the plate as a clock) with them pointing to 3.40.

2.  When someone speaks to me during dinner – should they put down their cutlery and should I stop eating and do the same?

You do not have to rest your cutlery to talk to your dinner partner, but you should stop eating/chewing.

3.  When I have finished my main course – how should I leave my cutlery on the plate, and which way should the fork prongs face?

Both fork and knife together, fork on the left; knife on the right, at half six. The tines of the fork should be facing upwards (downwards if dining in France).

4. Why did the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall precede the Queen in the procession down the aisle?

Her Majesty is ‘top dog’ and so comes last – so she is last to be seated/take her place.

5. I always hold my fork in my right hand and my knife in my left…is this an example of poor etiquette? Or is this acceptable?

I wonder if you are left-handed? This is often the case nowadays that left-handed people will reverse the traditional order (fork in the left; knife in the right). If you find this style of dining more comfortable and easier for you then stick with it, but traditionally it is always (right or left handed) that forks go in the left, and knives and spoons in the right.

6. I am glad to have seen you on television promoting manners and etiquette. I have a passion for manners and etiquette and I am constantly reading about the subject. However I find that my peers are not very supportive of this, and often make me feel as though I am sticking out like a sore thumb. as you are of similar age I would like to know if you have ever felt this, and how does one deal with a situation like this?

It’s great to hear that you too have an interest in the subject – it’s so refreshing. Ignore what your peers say. They will one day realise that you were right all along and they will be held back by their lack of interest or practise of courtesy. You will have the last laugh! Trust me, I have been there. Obviously, do not cease your interest just because of what a few mis-guided individuals have said or think. Know that you have the moral highground and don’t sink to their level; instead, enjoy the view!

If you have any other questions about etiquette, manners, protocol or taste then do email me.

Strictly, China & the Royal Wedding

Saturday, April 2nd, 2011

It’s been a busy old few months! Ever since the Royal Wedding was announced at the end of last year I have been speaking (or have been asked) about very little else. It’s wonderful news for the Monarchy, country and the couple themselves and I cannot be prouder to be British at the moment. BUT… could Prince Harry just wait at least three years before he announces his engagement? I need a rest.

That said, come early February I had thought the press and nation were not interested, as apart from one or two exceptions, I had received very few Royal Wedding-related press requests. However, come the beginning of March they soon enough started to roll in, snowballing. And they are still coming – just weeks away from the actual event. Having spoken to the wonderful television presenter Victoria Arbiter, whom I met whilst we filmed something for Canada’s CTV (airing sometime in April), she said that she had received very few media bids until quite recently. What has obviously happened is broadcasters had forgotten how soon things comes around and then all panicked at once as they put together their programming for ‘wedding week’.

Filming in progress for CTV

Victoria Arbiter & Alexandra Messervy filming for CTV

Not only have I been living, talking and breathing the Royal Wedding, but also I have been preparing for my trip to China – which I begin on Tuesday. I have been invited over there on a speaking tour where I shall be addressing audiences on the essence of British-ness and what it means to be a gentleman. I shall be staying in Guangzhou, which is north of Hong Kong. I have heard all sorts of stories about the cuisine and various other things, so I was having mixed feelings, but I am actually (now) quite looking forward to the whole experience. I will be over there for 12 days, and then return for a week’s breather before ‘wedding week’ kicks off. I hope to blog from China – but I may get distracted so please don’t hold me to anything!

One of the most enjoyable things of my year, if not life, happened earlier this week. I was invited back to my alma mater, Clifton College, to sit on the judging panel of a fund-raising event entitled ‘Strictly Scrum Dancing’. My followers on Twitter will know that the BBC’s ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ is my favourite show in the whole world and so to be asked to take part in something like this was joyous. I had great expectations before the event and did worry that perhaps as I had been looking forward to it so much, the actual event would disappoint. Well – au contraire! It exceeded all expectations. Never have I had so much fun. I had been asked to be the ‘nasty’ judge (or, as I saw it, ‘fair’). Having hundreds of people booing you is really quite a feeling, and I loved every second of it. We did two shows – a matinee and an evening performance. What was good about the afternoon show (which was shorter than the second) was we could use it as a practice round for the main event, which for me meant I could be bitchier and my put-downs more finely tuned. I am not sure yet how much we raised but I suspect it’ll be at least £3,000 (having done some very rudimentary sums). I think I enjoyed it so much because for most of my life (as it’s the polite, and right, thing to do) I spend my time being nice to people and thinking of other people, there is very little scope, time or need to be ‘nasty’. And so I just let rip. I was even told in the evening (by the dancers) I could be even bitchier! Well, talk about red rag to a bull.

 

Judges for Strictly Scrum Dancing

In character for judging Strictly Scrum Dancing*

I had better finish off cooking dinner for my family, who are staying with me this weekend (Mothers’ Day tomorrow in the UK). We are having a pea, mint and pancetta soup, followed by Greek lamb tray bake, and finally white chocolate, almond and date brioche Panini.

Joi wooi (that’s goodbye in Cantonese!)

*Image courtesy of Amelia Allen.