Posts Tagged ‘manners’

A Crash Course in Black Tie

Friday, October 21st, 2011

My good friend James suggested to me earlier today that I should do a blog post about Black Tie, as he is to attend an event where the dress code is Black Tie and he is unsure what constitutes this particular wardrobe stipulation. So, here I am, blogging away.

Firstly, if there is a dress code in place for the event, stick to it! No one is above dress codes. You simply cannot turn up wearing whatever takes your fancy: this is the height of bad sartorial manners. If you are unhappy with the dress code, then decline the invitation.

The spring of each year sees the interminable cycle of awards ceremonies begin and such events always depress me as the men start messing around with what is a perfectly smart dress-code to begin with – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Perhaps the male actors, singers and television personalities feel upstaged by the women, who for each ceremony get to wear a colourful dress, which the men may think deflects attention away from what they are wearing. So they start to wheel out skinny ties (which will be top of my list to put into Room 101), or just plain black neck ties (which, to me, shows ignorance that ‘Black Tie’ does not mean a neck tie).

William at a Black Tie event

William at a Black Tie event

So what to wear for the gentlemen?

Working from top to bottom…

Hair This should be washed and brushed. Similarly, you should be clean-shaven (unless you always have a beard or moustache). There is no point going to a smart event if your head and face looks like it hasn’t seen a comb in years

Shirt A white shirt with a turned down collar is called for with Black Tie. Winged collars, often mistakenly worn, are the reserve of the White Tie dress code. The shirt should be a dress shirt, which are generally slightly thicker in material, with a pique or frilled front.  Button down collars are a no-no. Dress shirts can be fastened with buttons or with studs. Cuffs can be standard or double-cuff, depending on preference

Bow tie As I mentioned above, Black Tie does not mean a black neck tie. They are for funerals. Bow ties should be hand-tied in my opinion (Her Majesty is said to be able to spot a ‘fake’, pre-tied bow tie a mile off – as can I. We’re quite similar.) If you cannot tie one, then I suggest you learn, or try to look good in a pre-tied one

Jacket Black. Lapels can be notched or shawl. Jackets can be single or double breasted. Double breasted jackets (of any variety) often look best on very slim men. Dinner jackets are never fastened when single-breasted

Pocket square If you wish to wear a ‘top pocket handkerchief’ then you may do so. In white

Cummerbund Nowadays, these are optional and if worn should be worn with the folds pointing upwards. It goes around the waist

Braces Don’t wear a belt, even if hidden by a cummerbund. Instead opt for braces, preferably black, if you need to keep your trousers up

Trousers These should match the material of the jacket and are usually tapered slightly

Socks Black silk evening socks are technically correct but these are not widely sold and most people are opting to wear conventional wool or cotton socks

Shoes Well-polished, smart black shoes are perfectly acceptable. If you have black patent leather shoes by all means wear them to Black Tie events. I do!

Finally for the gentlemen, a question I get asked a fair bit: ‘can I inject some colour into Black Tie?’ My advice is to try to steer clear of playing with the monochrome colour palate of Black Tie, however boring you think it may be. Where people have added a red cummerbund, or bright blue socks it has generally looked a bit tacky. One has to be a highly skilled fashionista to break the dress code with style.

As for what the women should wear: evening dresses are correct. They shouldn’t really be floor-length, this used to be reserved for just White Tie events, but this rule has been relaxed. Inject as much colour as you so wish, ladies: it doesn’t matter what colour you wear as your male partner will only be in black and white which means you will stand out, without clashing with him, and (hopefully) look radiant.

Sir Bruce & The Protocol of Investitures

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

Earlier today, Her Majesty The Queen at long last knighted Sir Bruce Forsyth at Buckingham Palace. Investitures take place throughout the year, usually around 25. Most take place at Buckingham Palace, but occasionally there are some that take place at Windsor Castle and Her Majesty’s official Scottish residence, Hollyrood Palace, in Edinburgh.

Click here to read the rest of this article on The Huffington Post.

The Royal Wedding: What Went Wrong and Why

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

It has to be said, the 29th April 2011 will be a day I do not forget – and for all the right reasons. Apart from the beauty of the pomp and circumstance of the day’s proceedings, it was the atmosphere of the nation, especially those who had travelled to London, which really got me. We rarely have national events that bring us together with such elegance and precision. One homemade banner I saw on The Mall on the Thursday evening read ‘Don’t expect the Olympics to be this good’.

I was lucky enough to be in London that week to do media engagements, as being an etiquette and protocol consultant this event was like a big birthday present crossed with exam time. Weird people like me who make it their business to examine human behavior, etiquette, customs and protocol will have noticed a few things that went wrong. Some things went wrong because there was not enough planning, some because of nerves of people concerned on the day, and others down to a few select guests’ lack of research or political motivations.

This blog post has been a long-time coming, but I have finally found time to give a brief overview of a few things that went wrong, intentionally or unintentionally. I will point out now, however, that these tiny (in most cases) mistakes may not have been visible to the ‘untrained’ eye and did not spoil the marvelous event for me in any way shape or form.

SamCam and the Wayward Wardrobe

The Prime Minister of Great Britain’s wife, Samantha Cameron, was wearing a fetching emerald green dress, which would have looked so much better with a hat. Indeed, etiquette dictates that with morning dress (one of the dress codes for the Wedding) hats are worn by the women. As the wife of the Prime Minister, and so theoretically representing the women of the country, she should have been sporting one. The argument from Downing Street was that she wore jewels (emeralds) in her hair instead. But this is still not correct form. Unfortunately, Mrs. Cameron made another error by choosing not to wear tights. With formal dress codes, women are expected to wear tights or stockings.

Photo below.

David Beckham and the Moveable Medal

As a friend of Prince William, and a premier footballer, David Beckham and his wife, Victoria, were obviously invited to the wedding. Beckham turned up in morning suit, which surprised me as (truth be told) I thought he’d opt for a lounge suit. It may have been designed by Polo Ralph Lauren, but the collar was winged, which is incorrect for morning dress (but correct for White Tie – worn for very formal evening affairs: state dinners, etc). He also chose to wear his OBE, an honour given to him by The Queen a few years ago. He entered the Abbey with it hanging from his right lapel, but medals should be worn on the left lapel. HOWEVER… correct lapel or not, he shouldn’t have been wearing it at all as morning dress does not stipulate medals. Only with White Tie should medals be worn. Beckham did switch his medal to the left lapel once inside the church, but he should have removed it all together.

Photo below.

Buttoned Up

Mr. Middleton’s morning jacket was fastened, which is incorrect for morning dress. Buttons should remain unfastened.

Photo below.

To Bow or Not To Bow?

When Kate Middleton walked up the aisle of Westminster Abbey, protocol states that one curtsies or bows when you reach The Queen. Dear Kate forgot to do this when arriving. Previous Royal brides have all done this, as well as curtseying when leaving (which Kate did do). I put this down to nerves. She did have a couple of billion people watching her every move, so I think we can let her off.

The Queen’s Car Door

When Her Majesty and the Duke of Edinburgh arrived at the Abbey, a soldier opened the car door on the road side, at the same time another soldier opened the pavement side door. The former footman was wrong as the door should never be opened onto the road (even though in this case the road was closed and car-free). Had Her Majesty, who always sits behind the driver when with her husband, got out of the car on the side of the road she’d have had to walk around the car to get to the entrance of the Abbey. All very clumsy. Although I doubt anything was done in this case to the soldier, ten years ago this would have been a very serious offence indeed.

Photo below.

Watch Your Step, Ma’am

When The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh were getting into the carriage to take them from the Abbey back to Buckingham Palace, there should have been a footman on the roadside of said carriage to balance the carriage. There was not and as such the carriage almost tipped over as the Duke was trying to embark. No such mistake was made when the Queen and Duke arrived at the Palace; a footman promptly used a stabilizing weight to stop the carriage from tipping.

Photo below.