Posts Tagged ‘manners’

Breakfast for guests

Sunday, May 12th, 2013

IMG_3175As I am sure regular readers will be aware, I love entertaining.  Houseguests are always fun and breakfast in the morning is often overlooked.  I can speak from my own experience that when I have been on the receiving end of hospitality sometimes breakfast is barely offered, or in one recent instance, forgotten all together.  I don’t wish to sound ungrateful, but by inviting/accepting houseguests you are agreeing to everything that this entails.

Although you needn’t offer a full, cooked breakfast every morning for guests (their waistlines may not thank you) having a selection of cereals, breads & bakery items, and perhaps some fresh eggs ready to be poached, scrambled, fried or boiled is a must.

We hear it said often enough, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  Start your guests’ morning off on the right foot.  Or don’t bother having guests in the first place.

Here is what I consider essential for breakfasts with guests.

  • Tea & coffee – English breakfast tea is a safe bet if you need to pick just one tea to stock for the morning, and proper coffee for the cafetiere is far superior to instant muck!
  • Fruit juice – fresh orange juice is both healthy and adds a touch of colour to the table.  M&S Food do a very good organic one.
  • Milk – in a nice jug on the table for use in the drinks and poured onto the cereal.  My jug is from The White Company and blends nicely with my china & silver.
  • Cereals – depending on what else you are offering, a choice of cereals is a must.  It is the most consumed breakfast food in the UK and for most of the world, too.  On the occasion these pictures were taken, I was producing a cooked breakfast shortly afterwards, so I opted to just put out the two most popular (Weetabix and granola).  If you have young children staying, a more child-friendly cereal may be a good idea, but check with parents first as some don’t like their offspring having sugar in the mornings.
  • Eggs – if you don’t know how to poach, boil, fry and scramble an egg then I suggest you learn before your guests show up at your door!  Some delicious honey-glazed bacon makes for a nice accompaniment when grilled (or fried for the less health conscious).
  • Bread – white and brown bread for toast is essential.
  • Bakery items – if you can rustle up a pain au chocolat (or buy them in!) then they always go down well with guests who like sweeter things in the early part of the day (like me!)
  • Jams – I adore Sainsbury’s rhubarb conserve, and marmalade of whatever variety is a good English must-have!
  • Sauces – if you are serving hot food, tomato ketchup or maybe HP/brown sauce is often requested by guests.  Bottles are fine now in informal settings (although glass ones, please).  For unattractive squeezy ones, decant them into a ramekin to serve.  TIP: Take the ketchup etc out of the fridge a few hours before breakfast (the night before, if needs be) so it’s not difficult to get out of the bottle.
  • Sugar – two varieties needed, one for tea & coffee (cubes), and sugar in a pourer for those who may wish to sweeten their Weetabix!
  • Fruit – there are some odd, health conscious people around who may just want to tuck into a Satsuma or a kiwi fruit in the morning.  A bowl of appealing, seasonal fruit to hand will look pretty on the side, even if not touched!
  • Yoghurt – guests from America & Canada are especially fond of a probiotic or something similar.

What do you like to put out for guests for breakfast?

A crash course in wedding invitations

Sunday, February 10th, 2013

Wedding invitations are sent at least six weeks before the day of the wedding.

UntitledBy nature, a wedding is a formal affair and so the invitation should reflect this.  Whilst many are opting to go digital for invitations to dinner parties, birthdays and the like, many still (mercifully) revert to the traditional method of a stiff white invitation through the post.

Unlike other stiff white invitations (never ‘invites’), ones for weddings are upright (portrait) and are engraved on a folded sheet of stiff paper or card.  To explain this better to those who are unfamiliar with these, they are similar to a greetings card, however the wording of the invitations goes on the front in place of the ‘design’ of the card, but they are blank inside and on the back.

Correctly, wedding invitations are 8 inches high x 6 inches across.

The standard wording is:

Mr and Mrs John Smythe
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Mary
to
Dr James Michael Gregory Hunter
at St Peter’s, Hale
on Saturday 17th May 2013
at two o’clock
and afterwards at
The Gables, Bowdon 

RSVP
The Gables
  Bowdon
     Cheshire

Many years ago, one would have written the date in full (Saturday seventeenth of May) but it is now acceptable to write it in the shorter, contemporary fashion.  Traditionalists prefer the long-hand method.

Note that the bride’s surname is not stated for the standard wording.  It only gets stated when the bride’s surname differs from the hosts (see below).

The dress code is not stated, as all (smart) weddings are Morning Dress.  You only need state the dress code (in the bottom right of the invitation) if it is to be anything else.

The guests’ names get written by hand (black or blue ink) in the top left of the invitation.  If your children’s names are not listed (i.e. it reads ‘Terry & June Jones’ rather than ‘Terry, June, Michael & Molly Jones’) then it means that they are not invited.

There are many, many possible variations on the beginning of the wording, depending on family circumstances.

If the bride’s mother is the host:

Mrs John Smythe
requests the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of her daughter
Susan Mary
(etc) 

If the bride’s father is the host:

Mr John Smythe
requests the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of his daughter
Susan Mary

If the bride’s mother and stepfather are hosting:

Mr and Mrs Philip Patterson
requests the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of her daughter
Susan Mary 

If the bride’s father and her stepmother are hosting:

Mr and Mrs John Smythe
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of his daughter
Susan Mary

If the bride’s parents are divorced, but co-hosting the wedding:

Mr John Smythe and Mrs Julia Smythe*
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Mary 

*If she has re-married then Mrs Julia Cuesta 

If the bride’s relatives, godparents, guardians are hosting:

Mr and Mrs David Featherstonehaugh
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their ward
Susan Mary Smythe*

*The bride’s surname is included here if different from the hosts’ 

If the bride is the hostess:

Miss Susan Smythe
request the pleasure of your company
at her marriage to
Dr James Michael Gregory Hunter 

If the bride and groom are hosting:

Dr James Hunter and Miss Susan Smythe
request the pleasure of your company
at their marriage

Death notices & obituaries

Monday, January 14th, 2013

A death notice should simply state the facts.  Sentimentality and gushing tributes are not correct here.

Pared down, a notice should read:

PARKER – On 4th May, Ruth Iona.

However you can also include a little bit of factual information, such as key relatives and the time and place of the funeral:

PARKER – On 4th May at home. Ruth Iona, beloved wife of Michael.  Funeral service at St Mark’s Church, Church Road, Bristol, Wednesday 15th May at 11am.  Private family committal afterwards.

It was once practice to include the deceased’s address but common sense has stopped this as, inevitably, enterprising thieves were scouring the newspapers for ideas for their next heist.  What is important now is to give enough information that readers who may have known the deceased can identify their friends & family.

In Britain, it is still thought the smartest people die in The Times or the Daily Telegraph.  However, in today’s society the death notice should be placed in the newspaper that is read by the majority of the deceased’s peers.  For example, if the deceased was a big figure locally then an announcement in the local newspaper is wise – especially as national newspapers charge an extortionate and distasteful amount for such notices.

An obituary is at the discretion of a newspaper editor.   They cannot be bought, unlike the above death notices, and usually only appear if the deceased has been of notable prominence during their lifetime.  The best obituaries are mini-biographies that present the facts of the life just lost.

Finally, remember that a person is not socially dead until the funeral has happened.  That is when they become ‘the late X’.

The above is taken from a new app for iPhones, iPads, iPod Touches & Blackberries that I have written on Funeral Etiquette.  It should be released in the next few months.  Keep checking my website for information.