Here’s the next column I wrote for the Middle East’s leading lifestyle magazine ‘Fatafeat’ – this time on good manners for houseguests.
1) Allergies Upon accepting the invitation to stay, you must alert your hosts to any allergies or intolerances you may have – this can range from being gluten-free, to being deathly allergic to feather. If you do have known medical bedding-related conditions then it may be a polite thing to suggest you bring your own pillows or bedding, should your hosts not have any synthetic fibre equivalents. Failing that, invest in some allergy-proof encasements (special pillow protectors).
TIP FOR HOSTS: If you have the space and budget, keeping some hypoallergenic or fully allergy-proof bedding for sensitive guests is always a good idea. Washing bedding with non-biological washing detergent is also good practice as biological detergents can make people’s skin break out in rashes.
2) Hostess gift Never turn up empty handed if you are staying at someone’s house. If you are staying for longer than one night then your gift should reflect this.
3) Don’t be late for breakfast! I get sent many questions from hosts who are always a little annoyed when guests fail to show for breakfast. If your host says ‘would you like breakfast at 8am tomorrow?’ then it probably is not a proper question, more of a rhetorical one. This means you show up just before the stated time, pressed, dressed and ready to eat.
4) Help! No one is ever too grand to offer help to the hosts, and hopefully no host will ever be too grand to continually refuse it. Ask to help set the table, or help wash or dry up after dinner. If you are staying for more than four days, you should not expect your hosts to foot the bill for all meals. Instead, offer to cook (and buy the ingredients) or, better still, invite them out to a local restaurant as your guests.
5) Damage If you break it, you pay for it. Simple! Although some hosts will graciously decline your offer to remunerate them for the cracked vase, or irrecoverably stained towel, your gesture should be noted and appreciated.
6) Offering to strip the bed When you leave, thoughtful guests will ask whether they should strip the bed before leaving – regardless of who the guest is, or how many staff the house has. Good hosts will never dream of asking guests to do this, but should appreciate the offer of help. And it goes without saying that you should leave the room tidy.
7) Guest expectations Don’t expect your hosts to entertain you all day, all night. You should have your own itinerary planned and ideally spend at least one day totally out of the house to give your hosts time to breathe and get on with any jobs or chores that have been left untouched since your arrival. It is the rare houseguest that realises how much effort good hosts put in to looking after them.
TIP FOR HOSTS: Have a selection of flyers of local tourist attractions, a list of good restaurants, nearby shops, and a map of the area easily to hand – even pop it discreetly in your guests’ room.
8) Tipping staff If you are staying in a house with staff, especially staff that have been looking after you and your room, then in many houses it is the done thing to leave a tip for them when you leave. Ask your hostess whether this is all right and if so, what amount she suggests.
9) Two-sided thank you letter Once you are back in your own house, the writing paper and fountain pen should come out for you to write your thank you letter. For overnight stays, two sides is the key. One-sided letters are for thanking for presents and dinners.
10) Reciprocal hospitality I always say, never stay with people who you would not want to come and stay at your own house. Guests need to be prepared to play hosts whenever the time comes. Upon departure, make it clear to your hosts that you are more than happy to have them come to stay whenever they like.